i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
