WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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