Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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