just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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