just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
not ubering you a puppy
You ruined the universe
Randomize
