it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just want to make out with him forever
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
