Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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