brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
