Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
