these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
