she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
