some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
