This girl is more easily done than said...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
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