Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
