I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
