escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I know her cup size but not her name....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
