my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
