I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
