Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
soo... how was my night?
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