I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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