I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
