if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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