I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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