would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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