I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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