If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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