Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
