I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize