she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
