Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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