Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
