Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
