The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
