And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
