No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
