There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
