Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
