He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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