I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
