so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
