Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize