Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
