I wanna bring you to show and tell
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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