yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
