I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You were trust falling into bushes
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
