i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
