I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
