bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Houston, we have a squirter
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
