every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
