So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
