Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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