I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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