i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
