kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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