I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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