Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
